The strength of a woman
I often ask my fellow women if they have any idea the kind of strength that God placed inside of them. Whether they know what they are capable of achieving if they simply set the minds and priorities in the right place. If only women could tap into that strength, the possibilities of what they could achieve is out of this world. March is the month that allows women to be celebrated around the world, not to say that you cannot celebrate yourself everyday, which you should but the world comes together on the 8th of March to celebrate and appreciate women.
In my latest book ‘Rising from the ashes’ a book that must be in every home, a book that speaks to everyone regardless and age, gender, religion, race or ethnicity I share many experiences that show just what one can achieve if they set their mind to it even if the odds are against you. For women I say again open your eyes and realize that you are unique in everywhere. In my book a share an experience I had in 1998, which is always a constant reminder that I will never give up on whatever I want to achieve because I can achieve greatness.
Midnight of 1998, I felt the first signs of labor; we were expecting our first child. We were young parents, super excited and my husband and I had read all the books and magazines we could find about having children, the labor process and so really we were just ready for this moment. With bags all packed up we headed to the hospital, the pain was not so bad, little pangs here and there so even on our way to the hospital we were laughing and joking.
By the time I was admitted into the labor ward the pain had started to change its tempo, the time difference between each contraction was shorter and the pain much sharper. In my mind I convinced myself that it wouldn’t be long and all this would be over in no time, I was wrong, By 06:00 am in the morning I couldn’t take it anymore, I was far from giving birth and the pain had become unbearable. The nurse advised my husband to rub my back and that it would help but I was in so much pain I didn’t want my husband anywhere near me and I would shout at him to leave me and leave the room, I blamed him or the pain. Every time he tried to leave the room I would scream and ask him where he thought he was going because it was his entire fault. When I think about it now I think the poor man was confused and also scared.
By 10:00 am I was told I was still very far from giving birth, I have been in labor for 10 hours, I could hear myself screaming that I was the last time I would have a child because the pain was just too much. The funniest part of that statement was that 2 years later I was back in the labor ward giving birth to our second child.
By midday my doctor made a decision that I should have a caesarean section the child was not moving because she was too big. The next time I woke up, I was given my beautiful baby girl, what an amazing feeling, I forgot the pain I had felt before, I forgot even the pain I was feeling from the operation I was just so happy to finally meet my child.
During the labor process it never occurred to me to tell the doctor that I was no longer interested in having the child because the pain was too much. I never made a decision to leave the hospital and go back home because of the delayed labor process, I simply refused give up. The reason I didn’t give up was because I knew that something beautiful was about to happen, that I was about to bring life into the world, that I was about to become a mother. The strength that women have been given is that of endurance, we have a ability to handle joy, pain, tough times, good times without showing that we are going through struggles. If only women knew what kind of strength we have we would not be distracted by struggles and tough times. We are made to fight, to endure, to be successful.
I have had women come to me many times broken, crying and on the verge of giving up because their husband has left them for another woman or their husband dies and he was the bread winner or their husband looses his job and she has to take over looking after the family. Women share their terrible experiences in the workplace where they are passed out on promotions because they are a woman or where they are not given an opportunity for international travel because the boss didn’t see it appropriate for them to travel.
The stress a woman goes through after she receives a job offer and then discovers she is pregnant only to lose her job because she is supposed to work for 2 years before she can get pregnant. I meet women who are treated badly and unfairly by fellow women in the workplace, women who pull each other down instead of uplifting each other. Fellow women ask me how I manage to stay in course even though I have faced so many difficult times in my life, where I have hit rock bottom and didn’t know how to get up.
I tell these women that you are just too strong to let situation and or circumstance dictate who you should become. I share stories of my late mother who raised 6 children as a single parent while struggling with cancer and on a civil servants salary. Read my book and you will find so many examples of my life experiences in a male dominated world that I refused to allow to dictate what I can or cannot do even though I am a woman. I say to women stop feeling sorry for yourselves, it’s not pretty at all. God placed a seed